A Guide to Helping Your Parents Navigate Aging

We’re so used to our parents living independently that we don’t always notice when they begin to struggle with handling daily activities. Changes can begin gradually as they start to slow down, or they can happen quickly, when a parent has an unexpected diagnosis or accident. No matter if you live across town or across the country, proactively creating a senior life plan for your parents will give you peace of mind and allow them to continue to live their lives to the fullest. 

Communication Approaching aging parents about planning their senior years can be a touchy subject for everyone involved. As a general rule, it is recommended to start having these conversations by the time you’re in your forties, or they’re in their seventies (known as the 40-70 rule). Of course, you know your parents’ habits and personalities best, so you are the best judge of their physical and mental health. Here are some factors that can determine the appropriate time to initiate this conversation:

• Start the conversation early, using the 40-70 rule, so you have time to make or change plans based on your parents’ needs
• Create a comfortable and open environment for the conversation
• Plan more than one conversation so you can cover all possible issues
• Take notes so you remember what was discussed and can keep track of next steps
• Keep a list of all their passwords for accounts such as computer, email, phone, and cable

Create a Caregiving Plan 

A caregiving plan will ensure everyone is on the same page about the care needed and how it will be handled as your parents age. If they require additional care, consider how you can support their needs. This might involve coordinating with local caregivers, hiring professionals to assist with certain tasks, or, if you don’t live nearby, planning regular visits to spend time with them.

• Have a caregiving plan ready in case your loved ones need in-home care
• Discuss changes to your parents’ healthcare needs with their doctors 
• Research different caregiving options
• Find out if your loved one has any specific needs to maintain their health and happiness 

Health and Medical Care

A senior life plan starts with understanding your parents’ health statuses and medical needs. When they are in excellent health, it’s essential that their care and treatment preferences are detailed in a living will or advanced directive and discussed with family members. Have this conversation now, during the planning stage, rather than during a medical emergency.

• Designate a healthcare proxy who can speak with doctors on your loved one’s behalf and make healthcare decisions, especially if they are hospitalized
• Keep a list of their medications up to date, including prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, supplements, and vitamins
• Keep a list of your parent’s doctors and specialists, including their contact information 
• Ensure they are following their doctors’ advice and taking medications as prescribed
• Make a note of the closest urgent care facility and hospital
• Get to know their primary care physicians 
• Discuss your parents’ latest check-ups and help schedule upcoming appointments 
• Encourage your parent to write a living will or advanced directive and keep a copy on file

Safety and Living Arrangements

Most seniors want to remain in their homes as they age, connected to family, friends, and community. If your parents are able to continue living at home, consider home remodeling options to help them safely age in place. In addition, develop an emergency plan with your parents and make sure they know what to do in case of a natural disaster or other emergency.

• Evaluate the safety of their home and make modifications if necessary
• Review any mortgage or financial concerns about the home
• Check in regularly, either in person, or by phone or video chat
• Consider long-term care insurance in case long-term care is ever required
• Develop an emergency plan and list of emergency contacts

Social and Support Network

A strong social support network helps keep seniors healthy and active and gives them a sense of connection, belonging, and purpose. This support can include neighbors, friends, or other family members who can assist your loved one if needed. If possible, foster connections with their support network to have reliable contacts in case of emergencies.

• Encourage your parents to stay socially engaged and participate in activities that bring them joy
• Check if your parents have a support network in their local community
• Keep the name and number of a neighbor who can regularly check on your loved ones
• Create a schedule of friends and family who call or regularly video chat
• Ensure your parents have access to reliable transportation when needed, especially if they don’t drive

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